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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28488768">Unsent Letters</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/grumpygrahams/pseuds/grumpygrahams'>grumpygrahams</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Barebacking, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Nosy Dean Winchester, Poor Castiel (Supernatural)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:28:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,346</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28488768</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/grumpygrahams/pseuds/grumpygrahams</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester is as nosy as nosy can get, so when he finds Cas' journal with letters written to him, he can't help himself but to read them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel &amp; Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Destiel Writers &amp; Readers</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Unsent Letters</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassondraWinchester/gifts">CassondraWinchester</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>    Dean had stumbled upon the old leather notebook on pure accident, or at least that’s what he tells himself as he flips through it as he perches on the edge of Cas’ bed. Well - the guest bed, but with Cas staying in the extra room for the time being, it was technically his bed. The room technically being Cas’ room. With Cas’ stuff. But no Cas. Dean had gone to Room 15 in hopes of finding the angel but the room had been very empty and Dean couldn’t help himself as he slipped past the wooden door into the room, because hell, he was a little nosey when it came to Cas. They have shared so much in so many years and yet Dean couldn’t get enough of him. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  
  <span>Dean had been respectful as he looked around Cas’ personal belongings, the very few of them that he had, and put each item back on the top of the dresser after he looked at them. A seashell, a bullet casing, a small feather that had a brillant blue sheen when held up to the light and a leather journal. Dean had paused over that and he knew, deep in his gut, that he really shouldn’t be nosing in something so personal. Knew that if it was some other person's belongings he would leave it, but this was Cas. His Cas. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  
  <span>Before he sat he took a quick glance around and carefully unclasped the little latch to let the pages fall open and the writing was breathtaking. Beautifully arched letters, almost perfect ‘o’s and ‘s’s. Dean didn’t even register the words on the page yet because Cas’ handwriting was just beautiful. Dear God above, he was so stupidly in love and this was ridiculous. Dean was ridiculous. He tossed another careful glance to the cracked door, listened intently and there was nothing. Absolutely nothing. He knew Sam was in the library, going through some old books for God know’s what reason, probably because he thought it was fun, the nut, so he should be in the clear. He opened the book to a random page and the date read from a few years back.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <em>
    <span>To Dean - </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dean, I do not understand why you continue not to listen to my advice. You anger me in your defiance and your haughtiness, but I also feel a deep endearing to you for it. You are brash and strong and clever but so very human. Sometimes, I think, I wish to take that from you. Those vulnerable parts that will ultimately take you from me in the grips of death and make you like I am. I wish you to live a long life, by my side, and we could continue to be the brothers in arms that you so dearly wish to have.</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    
  </em>
  <span>Dean felt a twinge against his heart from the words written. He couldn’t recall when this would be because honestly, he didn’t listen to Cas often. Perhaps a fault of his, sure, but he didn’t listen to a lot of people. He flipped a few pages forward and continued to read on.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <em>
    <span>To Dean - </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I am very happy that you liked the pie I had brought you today. I was hoping that it would cheer you up after you had lost your game of pool at the bar. I was unsure if apple or cherry was preferred so I guessed. I...enjoyed the look on your face when I gave it to you. I wish you could see how you look when you smile. How your teeth are slightly crooked or how your muscle misfires and your lips twitch a fraction just as you begin to smile. You are beautiful, Dean Winchester. You always were, even before I mended you back together.</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    
  </em>
  <span>Oh. Dean had a habit of burying the embarrassment of Cas stitching him back together after he was pulled from Hell. He didn’t like thinking about it in any way, or sense, and seeing Cas write about it so openly brought back a flood of memories from his time spent with Alistair. None, of course, were pleasant and Dean only faintly remembered anything from when Cas pulled him from the pit, or there afterwards until he was topside. It was probably due to Cas fudging his memories so the trauma didn’t keep him up at night. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  
  <span>He shook the passing thoughts and turned the pages, flicking through several that were filled with anger and hurt, with happiness and joy. It was so interesting to read through the progress of emotions that Cas started to carry on his shirtsleeve, almost quite literally. It was a chronicle of how Cas was changing, had changed, and to where he was now. He settled onto another page, though the date was only from a year back.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <em>
    <span>To Dean -</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I...do not understand these feelings. I am angry and happy and frustrated all at the same time. I wish to hold you fiercely and yet push you away. You have complicated things for me and I feel that Uriel is right. I have become too close to humanity - to you. Every time I see you it is hard for me to stay for more than a few minutes. You make me want to run.</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  
  <span>“Yeah, me too, Cas.” Dean whispered, thumbing over the last few words written. Dean had ran, though, so many times. He was afraid of his feelings for another man because it went further than just a crush on Dr.Sexy on t.v. or from a flirtatious wink at the bar from another hunter. Dean wanted to spend </span>
  <em>
    <span>time</span>
  </em>
  <span> with Cas. Wanted to wake up next to him in the early hours in the morning and kiss away sleep from his eyes. Dean wanted to drive down long roads with him and make-out underneath the full moon like a damned teenager. He wanted to take every inch of him against his lips and learn all the little ways that he could make Cas moan out. All of it made him want to run from what he felt. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  
  <span>Dean closed the book gently, suddenly feeling ashamed for reading Cas’ thoughts, but also very giddy with the realization that maybe, just maybe, Cas wanted to run from Dean for the very same reason. </span>
  
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  
  <span>“Dean?” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  
  <span>Dean whipped around, book still in hand, and saw Cas in the doorway to his bedroom wearing a pair of baggy basketball shorts and a sweat stained tee, a towel draped around his neck. </span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh - hey, uh, Cas…” Real smooth operator here, Dean kicked himself mentally, moving to hide the book behind his back even though he knew full well that Cas had caught him red handed. “I was just looking for you.” He brought a hand up to cover his mouth as he cleared his throat, shifting awkwardly from side to side.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  
  <span>“I was using the gym.” Cas gestured vaguely to the side where the route to the gym was and took a step inside. “What were you doing?” Cas’ head tilted to the side and dear Lord above, Dean needed help to not reduce to a small puddle right then and there. He was pretty sure no one died from embarrassment but he was very much ready to put the theory to the test. He mouth felt dry, his tongue heavy and he swore his vision blurred for a second before refocusing on Cas who had reached out a hand.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  
  <span>“Were you reading my journal?”  </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  
  <span>Well, shit. There was no denying it now. Dean felt his cheeks flare, blood rushing straight North as he gave the biggest, sheepish grin he could. There really wasn’t any way to get out of this one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, man. Look - I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have read it but it was just there and I…” He trailed off as he handed the journal over to Cas. There wasn’t anything he could say to make the situation any less awkward and he knew he kinda fucked up by not respecting Cas’ privacy and how could he make this up to him without seeming like the biggest a-hole to walk the planet, next to Chuck. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  
  <span>“If you want me to leave, I completely understand.” Cas’ voice was so quiet that Dean almost didn’t hear him. Cas gripped the book with both hands then and Dean noticed a tiny tremble in them. Dean didn’t understand, not one bit. Why would Cas want to leave?</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  
  <span>“The hell do you mean, leave?” Dean didn’t mean for it to come out as harsh as he did but the thought of Cas leaving right now, after reading what he read, made him panic a little. Cas all but flinched at the question and he moved to set the book back on the dresser where Dean had confiscated it from.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  
  <span>“I...the things in this journal were very personal, Dean. And I don’t know how much you read, but I will just assume that you read enough to piece together my feelings for you. I understand if you don’t return them and that I may no longer be welcome here.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  
  <span>Whoa, whoa, wait. His feelings for him? Dean stood, gobsmacked as Cas talked and while he wasn’t the smartest man by any means, he did know enough to </span>
  <em>
    <span>piece</span>
  </em>
  <span> together what Cas was talking about. But now Cas looked so dejected, almost as if he was going to cry and damn if Dean didn’t want to take him in his arms and pull him tight and tell him he was okay. But then it dawned on him, why couldn’t he? This surely all meant that he wouldn’t be pushed away if he tried that, right? That Cas was offering his leaving because he didn’t think Dean felt the same way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  
  <span>In Dean’s mind this was just another ‘screw it’ moment, which he had a lot of these days. He crossed the short distance between them and took Cas into his arms, one hand sliding to cradle the back of his head as he carefully, but swiftly, pressed his lips to Cas’ in a kiss. He felt the way Cas inhaled deeply, his chest inflating with the sharp take of air, and then the next moment it was gone. The catch and release of breath and then Cas was almost melting straight into him, body relaxing as hands came to rest on Dean’s hips, fingers flexing against the flannel.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  
  <span>It was a hell of a kiss, Dean thought, as he slanted his mouth a little so that their noses no longer bumped. It was a deepening of the kiss and God, this was his favorite thing ever now. Cas was salty from the sweat gained by the gym, but he was also heavy and masculine, a warm and solid thing that Dean just so happened to be madly in love with. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  
  <span>Cas made a small noise as Dean moved them again and he felt the parting of lips for the briefest of moments and he took it as a chance to slip his tongue against Cas’, a slight flick and damn, he tasted good. He did it again and Cas moaned with a shudder, his fingers tightening against Dean’s shirt.</span>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Don’t you dare leave.” Dean whispered between kisses, the moment turning from tender to something more feral. Dean’s hands slid to cradle the base of Cas’ neck as he bit at his lips. “You leave and I will hunt you down, if it's the last thing I do.” The words just tumbled from his mouth because he was tired of this all. Tired of running and tired of denying the feelings he had. Dean felt like his thoughts were all over the place and he had to take a moment to steady himself and collect his thoughts. He did so as he rested his forehead against Cas’, not quite looking at him.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Dean, I didn’t know -” Cas whispered, bumping his nose against Dean’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Yeah, well, we both didn’t I guess. Goes to show how much Dad taught me about communication. Don’t know your excuse though.” Dean chuckled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“I was afraid you would not accept my feelings. I would have rather had you as a friend than not at all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>The level of sacrifice that Cas had given for Dean was so unparalleled that Dean didn’t understand what he did to deserve such selflessness. He had a feeling he never would. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“You will always be my friend, Cas. No matter what.” It was a reassurance to himself as much as it was to Cas. Dean had spent so many nights with his hand down his pants, thinking about Cas in ways that friends certainly didn’t think about each other and he had felt so ashamed at it. But now it was like all of it was matched pining and honestly, if they just talked to each other, this could have all been avoided.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  
  <span>Dean slipped his hand from Cas’ neck to his waist and carefully nudged them back until Cas’ knees hit the bed and he took the hint as Dean pushed them both down onto the mattress. He hovered over Cas until he decided, yeah, it was now or never. He pressed another kiss to Cas’ lips and placed a knee between Cas’ legs, bringing it up to the juncture of Cas’ legs and holy hell, Cas was already hard against him, his cock brushing heavily against Dean’s bent knee.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  
  <span>“Dean -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“You sure?” </span>
  
</p><p>
  
  <span><br/>
</span>
  
  <span>Cas nodded without an ounce of hesitation and that was all Dean needed. He certainly didn’t need to be told twice that he was able to finally show Cas just how much he thought about him. Dean all but tore out of his shirt, then helped Cas out of his and the skin on skin was just so much. It felt so good to press down and against Cas in and he let his mouth do the same. Dean left open mouthed kisses wherever he could, tongue swiping against pale skin before letting his teeth come next. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>He was going to devour him.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This work was apart of the Destiel Fanfic Exchange (which I'm late for, I'm so sorry!) and is for CassondraWinchester! I'll be posting chapter two later, which will have ALL THE SMUT. Promise. ;D</p></blockquote></div></div>
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